Not long after I wrote that last entry (which even I will admit was incredibly depressing), I realized that the only person who can change the way I feel about myself is me. It's not always easy to change our self perception or look past the flaws other people have caused us to notice, but nobody is ever going to love someone who can't love themselves first. I love myself now. I think every single one of my flaws makes me who I am. I have a gym membership that I need to get back into using..but I'm going to do that for ME. Not for a boy. Not for my friends. Not for anyone else but me. =) I'll never be a size 2 and I am totally okay with that. I love who I am now and I know that I'll love whoever I turn out to be in the future.
Over the weekend I had my final Mentor Tech Student Organization banquet. Since I graduate in December and these banquets are held in the Spring every year, I was honored as a graduating senior..which still doesn't quite feel real. I wasn't even going to go to the banquet, but my older sister and the creator of Mentor Tech kind of forced me into it - and I am so glad I went! I wore my new favorite "teacher" dress and let my older sister Kayla do my makeup (everyone that knows me knows that I never wear makeup..so this was a big deal). I can't remember the last time I felt that beautiful. I even took a picture that is, I will admit, absolutely gorgeous. I LOVE it. It's funny to think that a picture helped change the way I see myself every single day..but I think it did. I look at that picture and see a beautiful young woman who looks happy; and I'm beginning to see the same thing when I look in the mirror each day. The picture that I'm talking about is the picture at the top of this entry. There were also some changes with..a particular boy over the weekend, but I've convinced myself that the sudden changes in the way I feel about who I am and who I'm becoming have absolutely nothing to do with him. Boys may come and go and people will change over time..but I will always be K'lyssa Elise Selmon, and that reflection in the mirror is never going to go away.
I'm looking forward to seeing the K'lyssa that the future holds. It can only go up from here, right?
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